The Night Will Lead Us Into Daylight
by littledaybreaker
Summary: Life isn't like a movie, it can't be wrapped up neatly with a bow at the end of an hour and forty-five minutes, but sometimes the way that life goes is far better than any movie could be.


This was precisely the thing about life: it was not like a movie. The events of life didn't follow a neat little plot that could be tied up with a ribbon at the end of an hour and forty-five minutes, where guy gets the girl and good triumphs over evil and everyone lives happily ever after. Jesse might want it to, might try to bend and twist life to go the way he wanted, fancy himself a real-life John Hughes, but Beca knew better than that. She liked Jesse, she did, in a sort of obligatory, this-is-how-it's-going-to-go, sure-I'll-follow-the-script way, and that's why she put that song in the arrangement, why she marched down there and kissed him on the mouth when she was done, but in the end, it was just too weird. He'd made her laugh with his record sleeve game, he'd introduced her to the joy of film and brought her juice packets and sang her Kansas from the back seat of his family's sensible sedan, but in the end, those things did not a good love story make. Maybe in another universe, maybe with another girl, but for Beca they just made her feel fond of him in the warm, fuzzy way one feels fond of their goofy older brother.  
That filled a gap in Beca, a gap she hadn't even really known had been there, but it wasn't exactly the gap that needed to be filled. There was only one person who could fill that gap, she knew, and tracking them down was going to be a lot more complicated.  


* * *

  
"Where are you going after this?" she asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor three days later, watching Chloe roll her clothes into efficient, girl-scout-neat rolls and tuck them into Rubbermaid containers labeled by season. "Probably Charlotte," Chloe replied, snapping the lid on the container labeled 'Fall/Winter' and looking satisfied, setting to work now on her bookshelf. "I have an interview at an elementary school there, so we'll see." "Charlotte." Mentally Beca calculated it to be a 3 hour drive. On the long side, but doable. Certainly not impossible. "You know, I'm really going to miss you." Chloe smiled, a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes, one that, if she'd dared to think it, Beca would have thought was almost wistful. Almost longing. "I'll miss this school," she said, "And all the things that have happened here-good _and_bad." She pulled a book off the top shelf, standing on her tiptoes. "But I think I'll miss you most of all." That took Beca by surprise. "Really?" she said dumbly, instantly regretting not thinking of something smarter, more clever, or at the very least funnier. Chloe didn't seem to notice, smiling that megawatt smile that made Beca's knees go a little weak. "Really," she echoed. "After all, you saw me naked."  


* * *

  
"So I decided to stay here," she announced to her father four days after the end of term, dunking a chocolate chip cookie in her tea and sucking on it, a habit that drove him crazy and thus one that she was determined never to give up. "Because of that Jesse boy?" he was trying to sound disapproving, but the crinkles at the corners of his eyes and mouth betrayed him. Beca rolled her eyes and huffed dramatically. _stick to the script,_she told herself.it's so much easier that way. "No," she deadpanned. "Because I love synchronized geek singing and I would miss my best friend Kimmy Jin so much if I left, I just _couldn't._" "Don't you sass me." But he was smiling, so _happy_ and _proud_ that she was fitting in and making friends and finding herself a boyfriend and a place here, at this school he loved so much. Beca grabbed another cookie, munching this one, not dipping it. If only he had any idea.  


* * *

  
It was Jesse, of course, who cracked her first. That was another strike in the "goofy older brother" column, another one of the hundred reasons (besides the big one, the capital-T Thing that she still couldn't bear to say) that they would never have worked out. He knew her too damn well, so well that it kind of creeped her out. Maybe he _was_ her brother, somehow switched at birth and reunited after all this time, some serious Star Wars shit. Jesse would love that. Maybe someday, after all of this, she'd be able to tell him her theory, maybe one day they'd be able to laugh about it. It couldn't possibly be this hard forever, could it? "What's your deal, anyway?" he asked, sticking his head around the booth one afternoon during her show. She took off her headphones, looking annoyed (and maybe just a little offended) but he was smiling-smiling in a kind of nervous big brother way, like he was really concerned, a way that filled her with the warm, fuzzy affection that she was beginning to associate exclusively with him and kittens. Given the fact that he was a little like an overgrown kitten, she didn't think it was that big of a leap. "Get out of the booth, you're not supposed to be in here. And what do you mean, what's my deal? What's your deal, creepasaurus?" "Good one," he said, and she stuck out her tongue and pitched a USB stick at him, narrowly missing his right ear. "Anyway," he continued, infuriatingly, as if nothing had just happened. "You alternate between playing stupid moony love songs about being apart and that David Guetta song. If this is about that kiss at nationals last year, I'm right here to talk about it. If you're in love with David Guetta, somehow I don't think he listens to college radio from North Carolina, so I think you might be out of luck." "Shut up." Beca leaned over to pick up the USB stick, throwing it at him again. This time, he caught it seconds before it clipped his shoulder. She had never wanted to punch someone in the head so much, and she had put up with Aubrey for an entire year. "I'm not in love with you, and I'm not in love with David Guetta, for God's sake." "Well," he tucked the USB stick back into the pile. "Somebody has you all worked up, and I'm gonna find out who."  
Beca jammed the headphones back on. "Go sort CDs," she instructed him. "I'm working."

* * *

  
"Benji," he guessed, twirling a chow mein noodle around his fork. Beca made a face. "Ew, god, no," she said, popping a shrimp in her mouth, and was that relief she detected on Jesse's face? Probably not. Dismissing it as nothing, she tilted her head to the side, listening to the rest of his guesses. "Donald?" "He's with Lilly." "David Christiansen?" "Who?" "From psych 104." "I don't even know his name, so obviously not." "Luke?" "Are you kidding? I can't handle those abs." "Tone deaf Justin?" "What the fuck?" A mischievous grin crossed his face. "Bumper?" "There is something seriously wrong with you," she informed him, finishing the last of her noodles. "I have rehearsal. See you at work." Jesse shook his fork at her. "You're in love with someone," he called to her retreating form. "I'm going to find out who."  
Without turning around, she flipped him off.  


* * *

That week, Chloe called her, voice breathless and sunny, the way it got when she was excited. It was the first time they'd talked on the phone since she'd graduated, but they'd made good on their mutual promise to text at least once a day, even if it was only to say hi. The sound of her voice made Beca's stomach knot in the best possible way. "I swear sometimes it's like you read my mind," Chloe was saying. "Like you just know when I'm listening and I need to be cheered up, and there you are!" Beca froze. "What?" "The song!" Chloe enthused. "You keep playing the song!" Apparently, Chloe's voice was capable of rendering Beca dumb, or maybe she was just so surprised by the fact that Chloe had basically admitted to listening to the show that she didn't know what to day, because the entirely of Beca's response was another stunned, "what?" "I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose..." Chloe sang, snapping Beca back into reality. "Our lady jam!" Beca considered this for what was probably considered an awkwardly long time over the telephone, not that Chloe seemed to notice. She was probably grinning that cheerfully overenthusiastic golden-retriever smile she had when she got excited. "You listen to the station?" she asked, then, "you get the station in Charlotte?" "Yes, no," Chloe chirped, and then, sensing how this might be confusing, clarified, "I listen to your show, I get it on my computer. And it's like you knew!" Well, no, not exactly, Beca thought, for the first time realizing, with no small amount of horror, that Chloe might be able to piece together the secret Beca had been trying halfheartedly to keep, well before Beca was actually ready to come out and say it. Instead, she said, "I guess I kind of hoped." "I like that other song you play sometimes in that hour, too," Chloe continued, singing again, "you brought me back to that place in my heart I thought was gone, oh so long I was unhappy, now it's gone and I'm moving-" The way it sounded in Chloe's voice was producing reactions in Beca that were embarrassingly uncomfortable, especially considering the fact that she was sitting at work, less than ten feet from Luke, so she cut her off. "Combinations," she mumbled. "I'm glad you like that one, too." "I love that one!" Chloe enthused, and then it was her turn for a long pause. "I really miss you," she said, her voice suddenly sounding so small and far away that it made a lump grow in Beca's throat. "I really miss you too," she said softly. "I have a weekend off three weeks from now." She didn't, but she could. "I'll pick you up on Friday night," Chloe offered, and Beca affirmed it before she had a chance to change her mind.  


* * *

  
Jesse cornered her as she was shoving things into her battered backpack twenty minutes before Chloe was supposed to pick her up. "So do you want to talk about that time you kissed me now?" _No, _Beca's brain said, but Beca's mouth said, "Sure." "What was that?" _A kiss, _Beca's brain said, but Beca's mouth was apparently getting smarter, because it said, "It was...it was like...it was like the end of a movie, you know? It felt like the way to tie things up with a neat little bow and play out the end of the script." Jesse nodded. "But..." "But the difference between life and the script is that life keeps going after the script ends, and life decided to go in a different direction than I thought it was going to," she finished. "Which I'm sorry for, by the way." Jesse shrugged one shoulder. "For me, too," he said, providing no explanation other than that, leaning over to tuck her headphone cord into the backpack where it was threatening to escape. "It's Chloe, isn't it?" Beca froze swinging the backpack over her shoulder, staring blankly at him. "What?" "The one you're in love with. It's Chloe." Beca looked down at her feet, shuffling them, trying to figure out how to dodge the question, but somehow she knew that it wasn't really a question that she could answer no to, not now that Jesse had it figured out. Instead, she just smiled. "Shut up," she said. Jesse patted her on the shoulder. "Go get 'er," he said, grinning that goofy big brother grin at her. This time, Beca couldn't help but smile back. "I'll try."  


* * *

  
Seeing Chloe again was a lot like coming home, and Beca had to resist the temptation to fall into her arms, to hold her close and breath her in, to lose herself in her and never come back. She loved her, Beca realized, and that was the scary part. Not being forced to examine her sexuality, not having to worry about what came after that, but the fact that she loved Chloe and that she didn't know what she would do if she somehow lost her. "I'm glad you came," Chloe said as Beca tossed her backpack in the back seat of the car. "Well..." Beca shrugged, climbing into the front seat, doing up her seatbelt. "I missed you, you know, and we said we'd keep in touch..." "We're going to have a great time, I found this really neat restaurant I think you'll like..." Chloe babbled on, chattering cheerfully about work and her apartment and all the things they could see and do in Charlotte, and Beca relaxed back into the seat, letting the sound of Chloe's voice wash over her, totally relaxed and feeling like she was at home, until Chloe said something that startled her out of her thoughts. "Those songs were for me, weren't they?" Beca looked down at her lap for a moment, but she couldn't help smiling sheepishly, like a kid who was caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "What if I said yes?" she asked. There was a moment of quiet in the car, and Beca couldn't help her stupid brain's panicked thought that this was the wrong thing to say before Chloe pulled over to the side of road, unbuckling her seatbelt, and Beca's stupid brain once again defaulted to the worst case scenario: _she's going to hit me. _ But Chloe didn't hit her. Somehow, she ended up in Beca's lap, her hands tangled in her hair and her mouth against Beca's, and Beca squeaked in combined surprise and pleasure and kissed back, her hands tangling in Chloe's hair, making fists there, as if she was terrified that if she let go, Chloe would disappear. When they finally broke the kiss and Beca dared to open her eyes, Chloe was _beaming _at her. "I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you," she was saying, and Beca made a sound that was half laugh, half sob of relief.  
"I love you too," she said, and then reached to pull Chloe down to kiss her again. Life was not like a movie, life didn't follow a neat little plot that could be wrapped up with a ribbon in an hour and forty-five minutes. Life sometimes led you down paths that were scary and difficult, sometimes fucked you over and left you with nothing, but sometimes it could be so much better than a movie. And now, Beca thought, now was one of those times. 


End file.
